Welcome to the cKotch.Com blog. I’m Christopher Kotcher, and this is another YouTuber who inspired my current path.
Unexpected Sources
Inspiration can come from anywhere. Many of our greatest sources are ones we never could have expected.
One of my unexpected sources of inspiration has been a Catholic bishop with a YouTube channel.
Bishop Robert Barron is a Chicago native now assigned to the Archdiocese of Log Angeles. His videos cover everything from the expected discussions of faith and ethics to film reviews and cultural commentaries. He presents ideas simply and views everyone as a “beloved child of God.”
In his video’s comment sections, Bishop Barron will address even his harshest hecklers as friends. He knows he is always talking to another person online. They face hardships and sadness just like anyone else. There is no reason not to treat them like fellow human beings.
The good bishop’s videos have helped me in many ways. For this post, I will focus on Bishop Barron’s impact on my creative life. He has informed many of my creative philosophies regarding this blog.
Starting College
First, I should explain how I found Bishop Barron’s videos.
High school had ended. Twelve years of Catholic schools were shifting to five years at a public university.
In the early days of college, I did well to smash my friends’ initial view of me as a “sheltered Catholic schoolboy.” They believed religious schools were places of indoctrination and suppression.
In reality, my high school English classes alone discussed every aspect of humanity under the sun. Readings delved into writings from all sorts of troubled authors. Many of my college friends had never even heard of Kurt Vonnegut Jr. and Henry James.
Likewise, my twelfth grade World Religions class examined belief systems spread around the world. I was unable to fully dive into these other faiths’ ideas, but I still had exposure to them.
Of course, I did meet a few college friends from other Catholic schools. Best time we ever had was going to a late Ash Wednesday mass after our classes. We ended that night splitting a large cheese pizza and comparing the ash crosses drawn on our foreheads.
Unfortunately, those early days of college did not last.
Commitments outside school led me to see less and less of my friends. We stopped seeing each other during school too, once we started focusing on classes in our different majors.
My shifting social life made me feel a bit empty. I did not feel like there was anyone to enjoy my remaining college years with.
I tried to fix my emptiness with an even more intense focus on academics. This strategy seemed to work for a time. Homework and studying seemed good replacements for hanging out and having fun. There was always something else to do.
Then summer came. I had no classes and no idea what do with myself until fall.
Discovering the Bishop
Bright summer days were little more than boring routines. My family was with me, but I did not enjoy their company as much as usual. My only real joy was playing with my dog.
I even found myself unable to write anything. Occasionally, I would edit errors in older works, but no new ideas came.
I did not realize these problems’ full extent until my Florida trip that year. My mom took me on a three-day trip to see her brother, my Uncle Rusty.
I had long awaited the beach, the sun, and the lizards. I was especially excited to try ice cream from this local parlor called Sloane’s. Everything seemed to exceed my expectations, but none of it excited me for more than a moment. Excitement gave way to emptiness almost instantly. I just felt drained and distanced from everything and everyone.
My eventual path to fixing things took many forms. One key part of the process was finding Bishop Barron’s work.
Shortly after returning from Florida, I was scrolling through YouTube videos. I was bored, and there seemed to be nothing else to do.
Five minutes of scrolling suggested there was nothing to watch either. Still, I kept scrolling in case something should pop up. I kept going even as that sinking feeling of emptiness returned.
I blinked and stopped scrolling. My phone had become an attempted cure for emptiness, a means to fill each quiet moment with noise.
My phone really only increased the feelings I wished to avoid. I tried thinking of something to do.
My eventual solution was strange to say the least. I searched “Catholic video” on YouTube.
Twelve years of Catholic schools had made the faith something reliable to me. Maybe religious YouTube content could help me refocus myself somehow. Be a halfway step between emptiness and feeling like myself again.
Thankfully, Bishop Barron’s videos were some of the first results for my search.
Some of My Favorites
I do not remember which of Bishop Barron’s videos I saw first. He discusses themes and topics across multiple videos. These similar subjects can make videos blend together in one’s mind.
Still, I do remember one particular video from my early viewing experience. This video is titled, “How Should We Address Spiritually Dry Periods?”. It related well to my situation when I first discovered the good bishop.
Much of my empty feeling emerged from feeling severed from social and spiritual aspects of my life. Bishop Barron discussed these low moments as a strange sort of blessing.
Those times you lack emotional highs remind you that life and love do not revolve around your own emotional satisfaction. You should love people or passions for their own sake, not how they make you feel. Emotions come and go. There is nothing wrong with having a low moment.
This idea allowed me to find purpose in my own dry period, my emptiness. Such purpose pushed me forward with renewed energy. I would emerge from this period with a better understanding of why I love the people and things I love.
It was not much longer before I became myself again.
Another helpful Bishop Barron video topic has been the negative effects of technology. The best example is the more recent “Bishop Barron on Pride, Humility, and Social Media.” It is a response to author Sarah Menkedick’s article “Unfiltered: How Motherhood Interrupted My Relationship with Social Media.”
Bishop Barron identifies Menkedick’s article as a critique on the internet’s effects on younger generations. The internet distances us from reality due to constant awareness of an ever-present social media audience. We become too focused on being someone interesting for the crowd.
Menkedick’s own focus on the social media audience shattered when she had a baby. She felt swept away by “huge, ancient, universal emotions.” She did not care about how these feelings would fit her online persona.
Bishop Barron analyzed Menkedick’s story in the context of pride and humility.
Pride focuses us on our egos. We seek to control everything around us for our best social benefit. We become mere spectators to the world around us.
Humility releases us from such high self-awareness. We are able to melt into our experiences. We become full participants in the world around us.
By concerning us with online audiences, social media encourages excessive pride in public images. Not an authentic pride in the talents and accomplishments of ourselves and our loved ones.
More proper use of social media is based in humility. We should approach social media as ourselves, using it as a tool for honest and open communication.
Lessons Learned
When I next returned to Florida, I enjoyed my time. I let myself fade into fun days in the sun with my family. The experience even inspired a few new poems.
I was back to myself, and I partially had Bishop Barron’s videos to thank. I still watch his videos today. He is the most authentic voice representing the church which helped form me.
The good bishop is a model of online humility as well. He commits himself to communicating ideas before promoting himself. Any image he projects online is only to support these ideas.
I want to do something similar.
Yes, this blog is meant to promote my writing and myself as a writer. But there is still deeper purpose to sharing my writing and inspiration.
I want to give people stories to make them happy, guide them through life, and maybe even create something of their own.
May these goals never be forgotten or ignored in favor of a public image. May I care for image only as far as it helps me do good.
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For all those interested in Bishop Barron, here are links to the videos mentioned in this post: How Should We Address Spiritually Dry Periods? and Bishop Barron on Pride, Humility, and Social Media.
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