Welcome to the cKotch.Com blog. I’m Christopher Kotcher, and this is a newer memoir which stuck with me. This is a book which truly honors Patriot’s Day.
Real People Disclaimer
In this post, I discuss a memoir.
So, the “characters” in this book are real people with their own stories to share. I examine them here according to how they are presented in the memoir.
What I Remember
The first historical event I really remember is 9/11.
I was far from the towers. I did not personally know anyone in them. Still, many far-reaching effects could be seen and felt.
I was in a first-grade classroom in Michigan. Coming home that day, I saw shocked family trying to keep calm. They worried more attacks could come. That the next strike could be anywhere.
No one could take their eyes off the news.
Finding the Book
Years later, I was reading the University of Michigan Alumni magazine. The book lists pointed me to an intriguing memoir. ESPN writer Adam Schefter’s The Man I Never Met.
Schefter told the story of his family. Of his wife Sharri, daughter Dylan, and stepson Devon.
The title character is Sharri’s first husband Joe Maio, who unfortunately lost his lives working in the towers on 9/11.
The story deals with many issues.
In particular, Schefter examines his feeling he is living a life once meant for another good man. A man whose presence could be felt everywhere.
I suppose that aspect of the story is what hooked me. Stories surrounding 9/11 interested me because I want to better understand how other people responded to something which changed everyone’s world.
I had also not really read this kind of story much before. I wanted to see what it was like for Schefter to join Joe’s family and help it move forward.
As the first chapter says, Schefter shares a story “about September 12 and everyday after.”
What They Remember
The Man I Never Met jumps around quite often. Many people and events connected to the main family are discussed.
While these other stories are all significant, I focus here mainly on that core family. Theirs is the part of the book which brought me in and most affected me.
Schefter provides a good deal of setup regarding the family’s life leading to 9/11.
He discusses his time working as a Denver sportswriter covering the Bronchos NFL team. He explains Joe’s promising life building a home in Long Island and working in the World Trade Center.
Schefter holds nothing but respect for Joe. To him, Joe was a great man who always worked to be the best and earn the best of everything.
When the towers fell, Schefter heard the news in his basement office back in Denver. He soon realized he lost a family friend who worked there.
In and around New York, Joe’s friends and family would be devastated discovering he was gone. They would gather for Joe’s funeral three years after meeting for his wedding. His young son Devon would grow up not knowing him.
How They Continued
Time advanced.
Schefter grew depressed trying to find love. He wanted to find someone perfect to complete him.
According to Schefter, his biggest problem was letting love of his career trump his love for anything else. He felt he had little talent, but he was driven to be the best.
Searching for love led Schefter back to Manhattan and working for the NFL Network. From there, a friend set up Schefter on a date with Sharri.
They had a good first date. Romance developed. Schefter learned how to move past his desires for perfection. Sharri learned how let someone else into her family’s life.
With Devon’s help, Schefter proposed to Sharri. From there, the couple continued to learn to live together and eventually had a daughter.
A Few Thoughts
As I said, there is more to this story than I mention here. I just wanted to give a glimpse so I could discuss what most affected me.
For one, the book is about a family building itself back up after the first historical event I remember.
Of course, my experience was far different and far less impactful than theirs. Still, these are people surviving history in my lifetime. They show me a true human experience.
Life still happens as time moves on. The people featured in this memoir work with problems anyone can understand.
I know Schefter’s romantic experience spoke to me a bit. The desire to find someone perfect who can correct all your faults is a tempting one. Thing is, as Schefter realized, such expectations are undue burdens to place on another person.
Only oneself can make the choices to become their best possible self. The only role of other people in this area is to inspire you to become that person for them.
In particular though, the memoir shows the importance of moving forward.
People should not be forgotten, but those who remain must continue to live. We will continue to have new experiences, and we should work to make them good memories.
These are a few of the lessons of this memoir. I hold them in regard and hope they may shape both my stories and my own life.
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